Since single amazing demo updates are becoming all the rage around here (well, we had one last week...) it seemed only fair to give the little piece of magic we received from Connor Fitzgerald the same treatment. If you're wondering why he's been so quiet lately it's because he has been going for a record with a higher failure rate than your average run. If you think doing a heroically fast run on an id level is nearly impossible, try doing twenty-seven of them on the trot. If you happen to be a running god there's a slim chance that you might just find that you've done and Easy Run through All of Quake in just 13:46. That's sixteen seconds faster than Martin's long standing record for the time it takes from when you enter Quake's realm, to when you pop the jelly.

I don't think anyone would begrudge this demo a Must Download.

All demos download for this update is available here.

Hey you. Long time. We've been busy doing a late spring cleaning here at SDA, and so this update has had to wait. Not that we've actually cleaned anything though... The actual cause for the delay is... Umm... Aw.

Let's rip this update open and get started with the demos already. Pouring out first are a couple of coops from me and Robert 'I live in a bubble' Maglic[1]. It's getting harder to find good coop runs doable with a bit of ping, but after looking through the tables for a while we found that dmc1m5 has excellent coop route planability. We did the two player easy run in 0:16 and the two player nightmare run in 0:15.

The day after that we (yup, Mandel and Midas) just couldn't find anything sensible to do. 2run5 two player easy run in 0:38 just happened by pure accident. It's much like the two player easy 100%, only this time the monsters are left alive.

Next demo to pour out of this update's ripped-open stomach is the sm56_czg easy 100%. You all remember how Paul 'I own me' Davies has owned himself again and again the past couple of weeks on this level. Now guess what! He's done it again. Owning himself by 18 seconds, the new time is 1:28.

Unfortunately Paul doesn't have exclusive rights to owning himself anymore. With this 1:08, Drew 'I own you' DeVore claimed ownership of Paul. Have fun boys. Oh and it's interesting to see a runner who hasn't touched a computer since Skillz test #4 play Quake so well don't you think?

What kind of demos do you think are going to get produced when you take Richard 'Tell me what I'm doing wrong' Skidmore and Abigail 'Tell me what I'm doing right' Skidmore, lock them up in a farmhouse somewhere in Scotland, hook up two computers with quake installed, and tell them to play together? I'll tell you something, my friends, they ain't going to be boring... Being a married couple, this 1:52 two player easy 100% on sm19_xenon is the first ever married couple coop demo on SDA! Congratulations.

Well then. I spent quite some time with a couple of nightmare runs on my own. It all started when mwh found a discrepancy in the tables for mexx2. The easy run is 0:09 and believed optimal, run by Daniel Hansson back in 2001. The nightmare run was 0:10, run by Ilkka Kurkela, and not believed optimal. So I had a long concentrated look at it, found a good way to play the shambler, and made this 0:09 nightmare run. Now it's believed optimal!

Above and beyond that, I found yet another discrepancy in the tables for dmc1m2. An extremely annoying boost from a grunt to the key is the key to this 0:17 nightmare run. How patient is it possible to be? Apparently very patient.

That would have been the last demo in this update if there hadn't been for this one last demo. Morfans and MMoD had a go on sm56_czg and the two player easy 100%. Crushing Drew by four seconds, their two player time is a full four seconds faster than the single player time, which logically makes it 1:04. Dunno about you lot, but this is one coop team I wish to see more demos from in the future. =)

That's all y'all.

[1] Sorry ;)

Yo choirfellas and dudettes! I'm sure you didn't expect good ol' Stubby to get back into demo updating, especially since I haven't made an update in like...AGES! But I was forced (read: asked politely to do this one demo update) by someone that goes of the nickname "the devil himself", so what could I do but to obey!? I'm sure quite a few of you are familiar with this certain nickname, so it probably doesn't come as a surprise that Peter Horvath totally fucked over Jozsef Szalontai's Easy Run of The Crypt of Decay with a 9 second improvement to get 0:22! I won't give you any spoilers, you just have to watch the demo for yourselves to enjoy it the most. Oh, and the text file that comes with the demo is a worthy candidate to "most memorable text file ever"! :-)

So, one question remains: Who's gonna re-do the Nightmare Run with this new über leet trick?! Certainly it's the fastest route, but will the horde of monster make it impossible to do? Only time will tell...

All demos download for this update is available here.

Whoever thought the 'new' maps were all optimised and 'done' already, put a hand in the air. Now turn your head up and look at the sky. If it's blue, you're ok. If it's flesh colored and has fingers, you've got a problem. Demos on the new maps have been pouring in incessantly, and it's fabulous.

But I'm gonna start this update with demos on some of the not new maps in the archive. It's nothing fearful, there's only two this time. They're both very, very good, sweet and excellent demos. I made them :)

• 25 seconds or less is the preferred length of a demo if I am to try and beat it. Anybody can understand that Ilkka's old 24s nightmare run on armorgod is a good candidate. I beat it by one second, which means my time is 0:23.
• To further support my 25 second theory I did a long, long demo, a marathon run through terra on easy skill. 17 seconds faster than Kimmo, thanks to some better strategies on the last two maps. Finishing time is 2:17.

But enough with that. What's new with the new maps? First there's that new sm19_xenon. Any new demos on that new map? Yeah:

• David Hocking improved his own easy run by 5 seconds, doing some crazy quad boosts and bunnies. New time is 0:44.
• The nightmare run also saw a 4 second improvement, to 0:45. Snoop is the runner behind this new demo as well.

sm24_aard:

• Pif de Mestre wast he first sda soldier daring enough to make a nightmare 100% on this stupid labyrinth of monster madness, and he did it in 3:14.
• Pif still had some delicious courage to spare, so he also did the easy 100% in 3:12.
• Shortly after that, Paul Davies sent a 3:17 easy 100% demo...
• and even shorter after that, when he learnt about Pif's demo, a 2:52. That's the current record.
• Pif's old easy run was improved 28 seconds by SDA semi newcomer Dmitry Dementjev, to a whooping 0:54.

sm56_czg:

• When I did the 0:05 easy run last week I thought the nightmare run would be much harder, and that it would be a while before anyone would try it. Well, I was wrong. Manslay did a little different start, performed a little modified midsection, showed another way to exit, and got this sweet 0:05 nightmare run. Optimal? Oh yeah. Also, a second faster than Valeriy.
• Our norwegian fellow Kay "optimize this" Berntsen also got 0:05 but unfortunately sent it in too late.
• The easy 100% was performed in 1:42, a demo that shows LagDotCom owning himself by 4 seconds.

If you can count and reason logically you know that the next map will be sm57_czg. If you can't count and reason logically, listen to this: the next map will be sm57_czg. I don't even need to make an unordered list here because there's only one demo. It's from Timo Nieminen, the Finn who recently rediscovered his mojo and improved the e1m1 easy 100% by one second to a splashing 0:53. This improvement is 19 times better, because it improves the easy 100% on the map by just that many seconds over Pif's old demo, to 1:09.

That's all. Or, wait a minute... Have a look at the bunny comparison page if you like that kind of thing. It seems the sound barrier on e4m5 has been broken again! And that's still not all! Also have a peek at these newcomer profiles, from Paul and Dmitry. At least one of the boys have been brave enough to include a photo! Which reminds me, if you ever sent a demo to SDA that made it to the tables but STILL don't have a profile, write one NOW and sent it to us! You know our address. Don't say you don't.

Now look at the sky again. If it is still flesh colored and has fingers, you can take your hand down now. Have another look at the sky. If it's still flesh colored and has fingers, check the name on your mail box. You might be Charles Manson. And you might not even know it! Boo!

All demos download for this update is available here.

As is reasonably traditional here after a new map splurge, we have a ton of outrageous demos for you but before we get to them we're going to look at demos not on new maps first. Why? Two reasons. Firstly because it's slightly annoying. Secondly, to stop people getting so burnt out watching cool demos on new maps that they ignore the "old" stuff. I'm not sure that this ever actually happens but because a couple of the "old" ones are by me I'm not taking the chance. WATCH MY DEMOS! I NEED YOUR LOVE!!

The first one I did was a table filler Nightmare 100% on the new-ish dis_cr8z. People were saying (i.e. whining like big girls blouses) that ammo was just too tight on Nightmare. Pah! There's tons of the bloody stuff. That's what quads were invented for! Got 2:15. S'okay.

Tom Nguyen has been working hard on improving his fmb100 Easy 100%. Much trick and tactic discussion was done with various people in #qdq and the result is a really great looking 3:54, nine seconds faster than before. Yeah!

One great and one greater demo now from Mathias Thore. He used a quad-boing-with-a-slightly-flattened-trajectory to improve Robert's Nightmare Run of pb2 by one second to 0:20, and then shaved another second off to get 0:19. Fly, little Swede, fly!

Rogue-running, utility-writing TeamSDA goat-purger Michael Hudson has once again improved his Easy Run of r2m6. "Just" better running gained him another two seconds to 2:23.

And finally back to me again, taking another record from the oldest demos list with a Nightmare 100% of epoch in 3:25, seven seconds faster than Thomas. I really pwn!

Right then. New maps. First we look at sm56_czg.

• I am so very, very pleased to say that the first demo on this map was done by hard-as-nails Russian Deathknight Valeriy Burmistrov. For those of you who haven't been around here that long Valeriy was a mad optimising machine who always, somehow, managed to take another second off of any short demo. Here he made 0:06 for the Easy Run before Carl, Kay or Tom could send their demos in.
• Except that it turns out that this was NOT the optimum time. Mandel amazed us all this morning by sending in a 0:05 with a little bit of speed preservation and a different ending!
• But he doesn't think the can do it as fast on Nightmare due to the different position of the ogre so maybe Valeriy's 0:06 IS optimum?
• Pif de Mestre was the first person to have a stab at the Easy 100% and turned in a brisk 2:14.
• But Paul Davies wasn't far behind with a brisker 1:46.

Pif was also the only person so far to fight his way through the mayhem of sm24_aard. He did the Easy Run in 1:27, tidied it up to 1:22 and then finished the day by making a 1:29 Nightmare Run.

Moving on to sm57_czg, we find that...

• Valeriy got 0:10 for the Runs on both EASY and NIGHTMARE. But he didn't think it was optimum.
• He was right. Mandel got 0:09 on both EASY and NIGHTMARE. He did think they were optimum.
• He was wrong. Connor fitzgerald got 0:08 on NIGHTMARE. But didn't do EASY.
• Pif then got 1:28 on EASY, which is obviously a fair bit slower than the others but that's not suprising since it's a 100%.

Our last new map, sm19_xenon, has proved a real hit with idiots that like stupid levels of carnage and quad rocket boosting. Which is just about all of us, I think...

• Pif started the proceedings with a knight mashing, high flying 1:10.
• He then dragged Luc away from his pr0n surfing for long enough to knock out a two player Easy Run in 0:57.
• Lucky for them they made that demo when they did because a few hours later David Hocking went blast crazy, getting 0:51 and then 0:49.
• And it was Snoop all the way on the Nightmare Run with a 1:01, then a 0:49 to equal his Easy time.
• LagDotCom had some Easy 100% fun with a 2:23 and then a 2:13.
• Luc murdered his way through the Nightmare 100% in 2:57.
• But LagDotCom has a little more boost experience and took the time to 2:23 then 2:12.

Them's yer demoz. Still lodez-a-holez and rume for emproovemunt. Goe RUUUUNNNNNNN.

When I post an update you know it's about maps. But today I'd like to take some time to talk to you about the birds and the bees. You know....SEX. I think it's time we discussed that important topic for a while. There's probably quite a few of you who are still virgins. Stubby, for example, just recently discovered what it's like to have sex with a member of the opposite sex, so he's no longer a virgin. Mandel however is, and he's not alone.

So, what the hell am I on about really. Well...maps...sort of anyway. I know some of you have been thinking what it'd be like to have sex with your favourite mapper (I've received several emails regarding this - not to mention any names, Daniel Hansson. Woops, did I just do that?). To help Daniel understand what it'd be like to have sex with our favourite mapper Christian 'CZG' Grawert I've decided to add two maps of his. They kind of describe what it's like to have sex with him (don't ask me how I know that, it's a sda secret initiation thingy). They're both pretty, sweet, small, tight - but not too hard to get through, and you leave the maps with a smile on your lips.

The first map is GAMESPOT ARE CUNTS! (name the demos s56c_xxx) and the second is Like A Rhinestone Hitler (name the demos s57c_xxx).

Now, what if you were to have sex with Mad Viking Stuuuubgaard, what would that be like? Well, I've decided to add two maps that I feel describe what that's like (again, don't ask anyone in the SDA crew, it's that Team SDA inititation thingy...though Nolan says it's something Stubby came up just before getting Morfans to join). The maps are violent, complete mayhem. In parts of the maps you're so shocked you end up with one of your senses blocked (also known as PACKET OVERFLOW), and you'll be twitching from the start until the end. Your clothes will be drenched in sweat and you know you'll have nightmares for the next few weeks. In short: rape.

The first map is LEVEL OF EVIL FIRE AND DEATH AND HELL!!!!!111 (name the demos s19x_xxx) and the second is Screeeeeetch!!! (name the demos s24a_xxx).

Now that's 16 holes to fill (in the tables, you pervert). Go run.

As mwh kindly mentioned at the end of the last update, the reason I haven't submitted any new demos for the last couple of weeks is because I've been busy getting our latest little project ready for release. :-)

I don't think there's a single person who frequents this site that doesn't love the DeathMatch Classics episode, so it is with great pleasure that I point you all HERE to take a little look at what the combined "talents" of Connor, Kay, Lodis, mwh, Morfans and myself can produce if we put our minds to it.

All demos download for this update is available from here.

Holes in tables don't tend to last long here at the Speed Demos Archive. Mappers try, making maps constructed mostly of annoyingly narrow corridors and (on Nightmare) stuffing them full of the nastiest monsters quake can throw at you – and then people like non-Scottish insane fuck Richard Skidmore come along and lay waste to each and every one. The target on this occasion was the heresp1 Nightmare 100% and the time 1:50.

Speaking of the last batch of maps, Thomas Bergendorff has improved both his Nightmare Run and David Hocking's Nightmare 100% of ouver to a pleasing 1:08 and a tight 1:57 respectively.

That's it for new-to-SDA maps in this update. While we have some demos on the very oldest maps to come, our historical journey stops briefly at commctr where we see that Carl Tholin has beaten Thomas Bergendorff's Easy 100% by 10 seconds to get 1:49.

Going further back in time we come to the hall of speedrunning horrors that is The Corridors of Time, a.k.a Episode 2 of the Dissolution of Eternity expansion pack. With a few exceptions, the only runners to brave this area have been noted maniacs Nolan 'Balls of Steel' Pflug and Justin 'More Demos than Most Countries' Fleck. It's hard to say if I am going to mount a serious challenge to their dominance, but I've started with the Easy Run of the 'only slightly cramped' r2m6, first beating Nolan by 1 second to 2:28 and then proceeding to a rather tidier 2:25.

Now you can't go much further back in Quake time than the ID maps. Some people have never gone much further forward, either: the only times Thomas Stubgaard has made a demo on a non-ID map is when he's typed the map name in wrong by mistake. There were no such slips this weekend past, possibly because he had his brother, the bafflingly-surnamed Mads-Peter Stubgaard, around to help him type.

He warmed up for Mads-Peter's arrival by swearing about Azure Agony on #qdq for three days solid. Then he started playing the map and relatively quickly beat his old Nightmare 100% by four seconds to get 3:23. The aiming in this demo is something to behold: he fires the shotgun something like 170 times and misses his target only three times. MUST DOWNLOAD, onna stick.

Then the weekend began, closely followed by the Mads-Peter & Thomas coops and I have no option but to break out the <li> tags:

• First to go was the Nightmare 100% of, you guessed, Azure Agony. Astonishingly, this 2:18 is the first record for this slot – but it is no mere table-filler. In fact it is the second MUST DOWNLOAD for e4m7 in the update.
• Then the brothers practised their cuss-words on another 'only slightly cramped' level, filling the Nightmare Run slot of The Haunted Halls with this 0:52. Now, this record isn't as slick as the previous, but it was no push over – the fact that it's only a four second improvement of Thomas's single-player run just reflects how suicidally reckless the older Stubgaard is.
• The only remaining ID Nightmare 100% slot was that of The Pain Maze, which fell in 1:57. Nice thunderbolt boost!
• Finally, they decided that their old Easy 100% of The Haunted Halls wasn't good enough for 2005 and swiftly swept six seconds from the time to reach 1:05.
• Well, that wasn't quite "finally" because they spent a while improving another demo – having forgotten that it had been beaten more soundly by some cunning Chinese devils with a better route two and a bit years ago. I think we can all join in the mighty hollering of DOH!

There's something faintly unusual about this update. We have demos from Me, Lodis, Stubgaard and Morfans. In fact the only active SDA-Quake staffer without a demo this time is Mandel. Has he just been frittering his time away, or does he have a surprise for us? I think we'll find out, soon.

All demos download for this update is available from here.

No mindless talk to start the update today. Timo Nieminen has gone and improved possibly the most "god I can't wait to see that improved" demo in recent years. Fabian's Easy 100% of The Slipgate Complex. A new single player record on probably THE most prestigious map. And he did it in 0:53. The man is now a legend, no doubt at all. MUST DOWNLOAD

Okay, deep breaths. Calm down. Now for all the rest of this weeks brilliance.

Demos for the new maps are still coming in thick and fast. Since it's alphabetically the first of the new maps, we'll start once again with dis_cr8z.

• Mathias Thore ripped the Nightmare Run record from Kimmo by one second with a very nice 0:17.
• But Kimmo Polvivaara was not to be denied. He became the first person to perform the slope jump to the top floor on Nightmare and ended up with a neat 0:14.
• Then for an encore improved his own Easy 100% by another three seconds to 1:03.
• And finally teamed up with Paul Davies to do the two player Easy 100% in 0:50.

After the heresp1 that infected people last week things have quietened down a little.

• Tom Nguyen improved his Easy 100% by five seconds to 1:03. He then went on to improve this to 1:02 and 0:59, but by that time...
• ...Thomas Bergendorff had already made a suitably impressive 0:51. We've included Tom's demos in the all demos download anyway, because we're kind like that. :-)
• Mathias Thore and Robert Maglic improved Pif and Luc's easy Run by six seconds to 0:11 not simply by being very fast but because they are very fast. I hope you all appreciate the semantic difference.

The dark, voidy wierdness of ouver gave rise to some serious spanking in the last few days...

• Both LagDotCom and SnooP tried to improve Kimmo's Nightmare Run tablefiller with a 1:46 and a 1:35 respectively, but they should have remembered to check the topic in #qdq because this 1:12 by Lodis was clearly on display. :-)
• The Easy 100% saw a lot of action, starting with Paul improving Pif's record by four seconds to 1:02.
• Laggers then sent us a 1:01 which we had to reject as "fucking stupid" since he used some dodgy coop play in single player by accident. A valuable lesson for us all here: if you've been cooping and then go back to single player make sure that everything is set back properly. To be on the safe side exit Quake and start again.
• Not that it would have really mattered anyway, since Kimmo has definitely cleaned all the rust from his skillz and owned the record with a 0:59...
• ...then a 0:53...
• ...and finally settled on a 0:51.
• Time for David Hocking to remind us why he's known as "That Australian guy, You know? David Hocking?". Maybe not the most dramatic of nicknames but there you go. He tackled the fiendish (and voreish and shamblish) Nightmare 100%, which was sorely in need of some table filling, in the messy time of 3:09.
• But he felt a bit embarrassed about that so he made a much better 2:43 soon after.

Finally we have demos on the magnificent menk.

• Pif de Mestre couldn't resist having a stab at the Easy Run and even with a couple of shortcuts managed to end up with the longest current Easy Run record in the archive with this 5:27. Not the longest Easy Run ever, of course, but still very, very long...
• ...and very, very short lived because Connor Fitzgerald is a sodding nutter! I'm not going to say how he does it, and I advise you to watch the demo before reading the text file so you don't ruin the suprise for yourself, but he exited in 1:06.
• And he did the Nightmare 100% in 11:31. Don't be fooled by the long time. It rocks!

Been a few weeks since I sent in a demo. I'm quite pleased with this one, though. It's the Easy 100% of gmsp3 in 8:58, one hundred and two(!) seconds faster than Basil. A new route and a bunch of tricks. :-)

Mandel and Midas had themselves an evening of coop fun. Here's what they achieved...

• They did the misery runs in 0:07 on both EASY and NIGHTMARE.
• And the Nightmare Run of terra5 in 0:15, three seconds faster than Pif and Luc.
• And the Nightmare Run of undrwrld in 0:57, five seconds faster than some Udders.

And finally a cool Mad Coop of The Palace of Hate in 0:55 by Kimmo, Mandel, Stubby and Laggy. Great fun!

Sorry for the total rush at the end, everyone wants this posted now so they can see Timo's demo. :-)

All demos download for this update is available from here.

Ah. The "new maps" routine. Post the maps, wait a day, update a whole pile of demos. It's a winning formula and one that I hope never changes. We've got old runners, new runners, good runners and gooderer runners. Makes me phallically firm just thinking about it.

SDA: It's a love thang!

Naturally, we will have to keep you in suspense just a little while longer by first looking at the demos on not-new-maps maps.

Here at SDA we tend to look askance at any claim of things being officially official. However, it's official that Kay Berntsen is the official worlds fastest bunnyhopper. When he smacks the bunny to something it stays smacked. He took on the Easy Run of dmc1m4 and exited in 0:19 one second faster than his previous time using wind power to allow him to bunny to the exit even faster than himself.

This next demo is beautiful. I want to cry. Connor Fitzgerald beat Carl's Easy Run of czg03 by five seconds to get 0:57. I will say no more.

Next comes proof that if you hang around in #qdq for long enough you will eventually stop talking about making a coop demo and actually do it. Kimmo Polvivaara and Paul Davies spent a fun couple of minutes messing about on terra2 and turned in a 0:35 Easy Run. They then spent a fun couple of hours trying to get 0:34 but although they came close, the endeavour ended in bitter, dismal, embarrassing failure. Still, I'm sure they'll do it soon. :-)

Now for the new maps, starting with dis_cr8z

• The first Easy Run demo arrived in double quick time after the maps were posted with a 0:19 from Pif de Mestre.
• That fell soon after to a 0:16 from "I don't make anywhere near enough demos" bunny sensation Robert Maglic.
• Who took that down to 0:15 a few hours later.
• But even that was not safe from the crazy tricking of "Player of the Year" Connor Fitzgerald who found a way to get to the exit in just 0:12.
• Paul "LagDotCom" Davies did the Nightmare Run in 0:20 to claim his first ever SDA single player record!
• It stood for just long enough for his new coop partner, Kimmo, to destroy it with an 0:18.
• Kimmo also went wild on the Easy 100% getting 1:20, then 1:11 and finally a 1:06 that he is pretty happy with.

heresp1 caused some controversy with its freaky grenade hiding grass and even freakier pipe bug.

• The Easy Run went to Connor with a 0:16.
• And the Nightmare Run stood at 0:19 with a classy run from Mathias Thore.
• Until Connor found a cool way to exploit the by now well known pipe bug and got 0:05. Yes. That says 0:05.
• Tom Nguyen decided to opening the Easy 100% batting with a nice 1:08. Pretty much the intended route but still impressive.
• Exploiting the pipe, coop style, was too much of a temptation for Pif and Luc de Mestre. They got 0:17 on Easy and 0:18 on Nightmare before any of the above demos were made.

Now for the delights of ouver...

• The Easy Run start with a quick 0:47 from Pif.
• Before Mandel steamed in with a 0:38
• That record was short lived, though because both Kimmo and Thomas Bergendorff sent in a 0:36, with Bergie's arriving just before Archi's so he takes the glory.
• But Kimmo probably won't be too upset because so far he's been the only one with the balls to survive a Nightmare Run. You might notice that this is slightly slower than the Easy Run. If you've tried surviving on Nightmare on this map you'll know why. Suddenly 1:47 won't seem all that slow after all...

No demos yet on the huge, sprawling Menkallywenkally. Well I say no demos, it's a matter of public record that a certain Australian did a couple of demos on the map when it first came out but as yet he hasn't sent them in to us...

It's nearly the weekend, the sun is shining. Time to sit indoors and play Quake! HURRAH!

LagDotCom hasn't got a single player record. In fact, he has no record whatsoever (he's probably got some weird record...like the most strangled gorillas in a day, but we're talking quake here). So I thought I'd give him a hand by adding a few new maps so he can get runs done on them before you lot.

I'll spare you from any more drivel. Here are the new maps.

• Menkalinan. Name your demos menk_xxx. Download here. Huge fucker.
• Dismembered Crates. Name your demos d8z_xxx. Download here. Smaller.
• Ouverture. Name your demos ouv_xxx. Download here.
• -Hyperevolt-. Name your demos her1_xxx. Download here. Annoying grass there, but otherwise fun.

Now go run. And personally I'd like to cheer on mr LagDotCom...YAY, GO! And I'd like to mention that Julie prefers me over Stubby. Bye.

So. Time for another update ey? It is, damnit. Get your demos here and read this dravel while you're downloading, and you will find out what it is you're soon going to watch before you actually get to watch it. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

First up. In case you haven't noticed, let me tell you that we changed the menu a little a while ago. If you just heard yourself saying "Oh, I hadn't noticed", maybe it's time you got yourself one of those braille add-ons for your computer monitor? Either way. It's mostly simply a reorganized version of the old menu, but there's also one new page. You'll find it under "Miscellaneous", and it's called Downloads. On this page you'll find some nifty quake related things you might need, for example a file with a collection of all current single player ID records on SDA. Have a look if you haven't already. Or have a feel if you're using braille. Whatever floats your boat is fine with me.

Demos! First one is a masterpiece. Area51 is the setting, never ending udder Carl Tholin is the executor. Beating Daniel Lindberg's old record by 5 seconds, Carl takes the easy 100% time down to 1:12. There really isn't much to say about this demo, because it simply is too damn good all the way from start to end. And, as if the easy 100% wasn't enough, Carl went even further and did the nightmare 100% on the same level a few days later. 11 seconds faster than Thomas Bergendorff, the new time is 2:08. Going to try the runs as well, Carl?

There is only one easy run this time, but it's a long one so that's fine. Connor Fitzgerald finally found a way to get a copy of the lovely rogue mission pack shipped to the deepest bush in the outskirts of nowhere in Australia. Shortly after that he managed this 7 second improvement over Thomas Bergendorff on r2m5, getting the time down to 1:10. Look at the slope used for slope jumping off... It barely qualifies as a slope at all! And here's a little note to those of you who like LIT files and colored lighting; you can get LIT files for rogue from here. Looks pretty... colorful!

The misery contest last week saw quite a number of demos, and not only one 8 second easy run. The first one to send us an 0:08 nightmare run after we actually opened the level for demo submission was Robert Maglic. Nice demo, and it's three seconds faster than the old record by Julie from last week. Anyone thinks this can be done in 0:07? Robert does. I don't... Time will tell!

Next demo on misery is a nightmare 100% from Tom Nguyen. This 0:33 is a good demo indeed, and somewhere close to optimal along the route of choice. But as those of you who already tried misery know, this map serves an absolute plethora of routes! Included in the dz are two egg demos showing a very mortal place and two ways to go...

The french coop duo that is Pif and Luc de Mestre also had a go on misery! They did the two player easy 100% one full second faster than Connor! The more cunning reader has already concluded that the time is a pant-droppingly fast 0:27. Following what to me looks like a totally different set of routes, they also did the two player nightmare 100% in 0:27. How both route sets could lead to 0:27 is beyond me, as is the reason for the change. Nobody expects the French inquisition!

Tom was also surprised when his leisure playing on fmb100 which he also happened to be recording suddenly ended up being faster than his own SDA record! 4 seconds faster to be precise, so the new record time is 4:03. Includes a rare 'two dogs with one shot of the double shotgun' moment, and some route refinery all along. Can this be done under four minutes? Tom will tell!

Kimmo Polvivaara absolutely loves terra5, and terra5 absolutely loves Kimmo Polvivaara. And really, how could two such extraordinary things not love eachother? They're both perfect specimens of their respective species, one human being and one quake map .bsp file. The mutual love is reflected in this new shiny nightmare 100% in 1:50 that Kimmo did, 9 seconds faster than last time. That's 8%. And then some!

Phew, I'm exhausted. Lucky for me, I have nothing left to say.

All demos download for this update is available from here!

Hello everybody. Small update today, with only a few but GOOD demos! Booyah!

But first, the Misery Loves Company contest is over! A great contest with 27 competing demos on a number of different routes for both the run and 100% category. Lots of newcomers, some regulars, and some returning oldtimers! The winners, who now also will be added to the tables, were me with this 0:08 easy run and Connor Fitzgerald with this 0:28 easy 100%. We now add misery to sda and open the archive for submissions on the nightmare categories as well as improvements to the easy ones if you dare. So go on! Run your little hearts out!

Now then. Who made demos? I did! And Connor. And Marlo, Jonny, Mattias, and Christian.

Whoops, I deliberately forgot a name in the list above. It's SDA first timer Julie Holm Nielsen. Let's call her a 'friend' of the Danish speedchopping sensation Thomas Stubgaard. What demo did she do? The nightmare run of misery of course. Blasting her way through the level with the rocket launcher, she managed to take the time down to 0:11. Welcome to SDA, Julie! Instantly, the thought of some synchronized axe swinging in some mad, multi-minute NH marathon strikes me as something I really, really would like to see from you and Thomas! Please?

One of the better maps in the archive certainly has to be gmsp3. Jonny Andersson was really bored one night and decided to try the easy run. And sure enough, he managed to beat Basil's old demo by two seconds with this 0:39. Excellent running, and sweet, sweet decimals! Congrats PB :) The wonderful thing with this demo is that as a direct reaction to it, Morfans and Stubgaard immediately promised to do the EH and NH respectively.[1]

Marlo Galinski has an awesome aim, and a liking for the terra levels. The easy 100% on terra3 is already too damn good, so Marlo turned his attention to terra4 instead. Yup, finally this annoying hole in the table has been filled. But this demo is certainly not a "table filler", no no no. It's damn good. Very damn good. Finishing in 1:51, this demo is a high paced gib fest. Gather the family and have a look!

Little more than a month ago I made the easy run on r2m7. I was hoping someone else would take the challenge and do the NR, but nope. So, at long last, I did it. The new time is 0:54, 3 seconds faster than Nolan's demo from 2000.

Weee-ho! There's two more demos. They're coopies. They're not french. They're high quality fine looking Swedish demos from the duo that is Mattias Öman and Christian Tornberg. With their well-known frenecy they attacked the bfinal 2-player 100%'s. The easy 100% was finished in just 0:30, two seconds faster than Valeriy and Vlad Burmistrov, and the nightmare 100% was finished in the very similar 0:30, one second faster than their own old demo. Hurrah.

That's it! We need more demos. Make'em. And when you have made them, send them to us. You know the address. Bye!

[1] Ok so maybe they didn't... But I wish they had!

All demos download for this update is available from here.

Before we get to the demos I'd like to cunningly drop in a quick reminder that the Misery Loves Company contest ends at midnight TONIGHT (Sunday) CET. Or there abouts. Timezones being what they are I won't complain if they arrive a few minutes late. In general the rule is that as long as the demo is in my inbox by the time I check my mail for the first time after the deadline the demo will be accepted.

Today, we have for you a feast of coop mayhem, but not a single French demo in sight! This week the de Mestres have taken a short rest to give you a chance to enjoy the fruits of a recent mini-Udderfest. Daniel Hansson, Jonny Andersson and Daniel Anderson had a sudden, violent burst of enthusiasm and kicked out a whole load of high class coop improvements...

• Daniel and ASH came up with the only Id level demo of the night, a very impressive Easy 100% of The Nameless City. They both made a couple of small mistakes but managed to finish their routes at the same time (which is always the most important thing in coop play. It looks so wasteful to have one player waiting around at the end) of 1:46, a beautiful twenty seconds faster than Pif and Luc.
• All the rest of the two player action came from Daniel and PB, starting with an Easy 100% of mortal in 0:40, ten seconds better than P&L.
• Daniel and PB then moved on to the confusing and ugly hunter where they made a quick tablefiller Eary Run in 0:45 (0:51).
• Time for Daniel and PB to get all religous on the jesus runs. They did the Easy run in 0:15, one second faster than P&L, and a much more aggressive approach to the Nightmare Run gave them 0:17, a full eight seconds faster than the slightly cautious P&L.
• I'm sick of typing their fucking names now. The same two moved on to hc and did...
  • The Easy Run in 0:30, two seconds faster than P&L.
  • The Nightmare Run in 0:32, one second faster than P&L.
  • The Easy 100% in 0:35, four seconds faster than P&L.
  • And the Nightmare 100% in 0:48, seven seconds faster than P&L.
• Same two. fire. Easy 100%. 0:44. Seven seconds better than P&L. Shit Map. Good demos.
• Next was a trip to the gibplex, the infamous "one kill missing" map...
  • They made a pretty reasonable job of the Easy 100%, exiting in 0:43, three seconds faster than P&L.
  • And a slightly better job of the Nightmare 100% with this 0:41, one second faster than P&L.
  • Finally it was time for ASH to do some work and the result was a cool 0:34 Easy 100%.
• The three powered into the obiwan3 runs, getting 0:21 on both EASY and NIGHTMARE.
• They managed to preserve their speed BETWEEN maps with a quite remarkable bunny display, and made a mockery of a3, completing the runs in 0:18 on both EASY and NIGHTMARE.
• Finally, the three amigos took a turn around the two forts that comprise 2run5...
  • They romped the three player Nightmare Run in 0:29, four seconds faster than P,L&A. Of course, given the layout of the map it meant Hansson did all the work and the other two just sat there.
  • And finally the Easy 100% in 0:26, seven seconds faster than P,L&A. Probably slightly more for the others to do but since Hansson was the only one to remember to save his demo we'll never know for sure.

Love to you all. Really.

All demos download for this update is available from here.

As we're sure you remember the Nolans 2004 ceremony to celebrate the finest speedrunning of last year is THIS SUNDAY at 21:00 CET in our very special #nolans channel on Quakenet. Be there, or we'll send the smallest Skidmore[1] round to crap on your carpet!

Now, until a few days ago (nolans) there was a problem with the Easy 100% records on dmc1m2 and dmc1m3: as fine as Jonny's 0:37 and Robert's 0:20 demos were (nolans), they weren't by the Most Improved Player of 2002, Thomas Bergendorff! Fortunately (nolans) he's set that straight, getting 0:35 for dmc1m2 and 0:19 for dmc1m3 (nolans).

Richard 'Best Mad-Coop, 2002' Skidmore's "Marlo bashing for the weekend" (nolans) target was the Nightmare 100% of coopmine, which he improved (nolans) by 9 seconds to 2:20. Read the text file for a salutary (nolans) tale!

Weixing 'Rookie of the Year, 2002' Ye has been taking an almost Plachetta-like (nolans) or even Hansson-style approach to the 100% (nolans) records of em1 of late; his latest one second improvement takes him to 0:46 and (nolans) apparently "finally what [he] wanted". Is this kind of satisfaction allowable? We know you can always go faster, but patience (nolans) has an end...

Finally some coops (but not from the de Mestres: what's going on there? (nolans) Too much Hexen 2?):

• First (nolans) off Robert 'Rookie Nominee, 2004' Maglic assisted Mathias 'Another Rookie Nominee, 2004' Thore along the scenic route through Hell's Atrium in the just-qualifying time (nolans) of 0:52.
• Then the same duo took on the still-odd-looking-to-me normal gravity variant (nolans) of Ziggurat Vertigo, beating the Normandy brothers by four seconds to get 0:30 for the (nolans) Easy 100%.
• Despite this taking four solid hours, they were hungry for (nolans) more. Thomas 'Eleven Nolans' Stubgaard helped them get (nolans) 1:04 for the three-player Easy 100% of the Palace of Hate, seven (nolans) seconds better than the previous record (coincidentally, seven seconds was approximately Stubby's ping (nolans) for the old record).

If you haven't got the (nolans) message yet, read this.

See you Sunday (NOLANS)!

[1] Strange but true: This is actually, Richard, a.k.a. Morfans. Yes, he is smaller than his one-month old daughter. You don't want to see what he can do to a carpet.